Confidence is not “they will like me.”
Confidence is “I’ll be fine if they don’t.”
It’s easy to feel confident when things are going right – the way we want them to go.
It’s easy to feel confident when we receive compliments on how we look, or when we’re doing things the right way. It’s easy to feel confident when we get a round of applause, a pat on the back, or a promotion. Or when that cute waiter bringing me my usual hot chocolate smiles at me, giving me that warm glow….
But I’m starting to realise that this isn’t true confidence.
It’s not the kind of confidence that is particularly healthy to have.
This is, in fact, validation.
True confidence is the kind we have when people don’t compliment us;
It’s not being fazed when they say we should have picked out better clothes.
True confidence is being OK when we fail exams, knowing that we can always try again,
knowing that we will eventually get to where we are meant to be.
True confidence is feeling fabulous in our in baggy joggers, a t-shirt, and messy hair.
It’s feeling just as motivated and pleased with ourselves when we DON’T get a promotion, because we already love what we’re doing. True confidence is still feeling worthy when we get rejected, and still feeling good from within when that cute waiter ignores me and skims past without a second glance…
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.”
– Maya Angelou
True confidence can be exhausting, overwhelming, distressing, and soul-crushing.
But it’s an amazing, incredible, admiring, and satisfying asset to have. Core confidence is something I’ve not yet mastered, but I’m still using every day to work on.
It’s hard; It’s tiring,
but I faith that I will have eventually have core confidence every day without trying.
Everyday is an opportunity to love, to live, to learn, to grow.