Being The Eldest Sibling

Greatest thing about being the eldest: Everyone depends on you.

Worst thing about being the eldest: Everyone depends on you.


My parents didn’t have a clue about a lot of the stuff I was going through.
I don’t mean the typical “oh, parents don’t understand” crap, but I mean being
the first in my family to go to college, the first to drive, the first to experience the major exciting life events… I feel honoured, but I also wish I had someone else to show me the ropes.

I suppose being the eldest meant I became stronger on my own, and now, in a lot of ways, I like it. I like being looked up to by my little sister, and showing her that if I could do it, then she could too. At the same time, though, there were a lot of pressure – the pressure to be responsible, to do well, to be an example. All that jazz.


“That’s the problem with being the strong one…

No one offers you a hand.”


I want to be the person my younger self hoped I’d be. I also want to be a role model for my sister. I remember feeling so proud of her when she went to prom.
Already, she’s done so much better than I did. She’s amazing…

But, what’s it really like being the eldest?

I wasn’t always so supportive and kind.
I pretty much hated her the moment she was born.
I’d glare at her and be annoyed when each time she breathed,
people would lose their shit.

I was the easy baby;
My sister seemed to be something that came straight outta hell,
but she was loved all the same.Β 



Being the eldest, meant I was also…

The Babysitter

Responsible for looking after her on weekends,
and who gives a flying fuck if I made plans for myself.


Blamed for a lot of things

It’s amazing how my sister got away with a lot of things I was constantly being told off for, because “they are younger” and “they don’t know any better”.


Having to share EVERYTHING

My clothes, my things, even having a bunk-bed was embarrassing. No matter how many times I tried to convince my parents that we were sisters – not twins,
I still had to put up with my sister copying my style, and my parents encouraging it.

Having high expectations of me

I had to have good grades, be the perfect role model, and set an example.
Like, I asked to be born first.

Constantly having pictures taken together

My mother still jumps at any opportunity to have us stand together
and have pictures taken – All the friggin’ time.

Being compared

From grades to heights.
It’s pretty awkward now when your younger sibling has grown taller than you,
but I guess it’s also a win when it means I look younger.


Bearing all these in mind…

I would not change it for the world.


As sisters, we shared the same womb, the same room, the same clothes, the same makeup, the same toys, the same food – ALL which were out of my control,
but that’s the way it’s been, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing.

I’m looking forward to…


  • Seeing more of my lil sister’s achievements



  • Being the cool aunt

    “My goal is to be that rich single aunt that flies everywhere
    and wears designer clothing and brings expensive gifts
    to her less successful family members.”




  • Just being there through thick and thin.




  1. I hear you! I wasn’t born the oldest, but have always played the part and now I am the oldest. It’s not always easy but it definitely pays off too. My baby siblings are just starting families and I love it! Also, I’ve managed to be the only one without a gray hair yet and my siblings are still in their 20s!

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  2. Being the youngest sibling it was fun to see what my sister might be thinking. I intent to show her this haha. But I remember when going to secondary school she really helped me have a better idea of what to expect because she had already done it. I felt so better after talking to her like in many different times in my life. So I really appreciate it, thank you to all the elder siblings you were so great!!

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  3. I’m not the eldest but also not the youngest so I can relate to some of your points. I once read somewhere that the oldest ones are a part time mothers when the real one is out. In the long run, I’m sure your youngest siblings appreciates all that you did/do.

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  4. Wow! You have described your experience beautifully. I am a middle child so I am both an elder and a younger sister. Right now, I am really looking forward to become that rich aunt. I mean who wouldn’t.
    It is just amazing to have a family.

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  5. I hope that with my sister, too. At the moment, we both do our own thing – she goes off with her group of friends, and I go about my own business. It’s quite difficult when there is such a big age gap, isn’t it?! πŸ’•

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  6. Awww this is beautiful! My sister and I have a 13 year age gap between us so I always struggle to connect with her. She’s now 14 so I rarely see her because she is always with her friends but I hope as she grows older we will become closer 😊

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  7. Mind you, I was planning on hoofing it across two intersections and maybe 4 blocks to my grandmother’s… I had a VERY determined mindset there, LOL!

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  8. This is soooo true! I’ve also found that since my sister, my parents are also easy going. Back when I was a child, they were so strict and I got told off for everything but now if we do something, they’re just like “whatever” I don’t think my sister has seen how strict and controlling they used to be. XD

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  9. Yes!!!! So real and so relatable! Being the eldest was sometimes really hard! But I love the offspring that my parents produced after me all the same πŸ˜‰

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  10. Hahahah why is all of this me?! except I had a little brother instead of a sister, and had to bear my frustration as he could walk away with everything and I get scolded for shutting the door too hard!! haha

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  11. OMG YESSSSSπŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―. I’m the oldest sibling too and it seems like NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!! Like, they’ll be like β€œoh, you’re the oldest and most responsible, you babysit/keep an eye on the kids” Tfff? But, I feel so honoured and mature and gassed about it sometimesπŸ˜…. I like being the first to do thingsπŸ˜‚

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  12. I don’t know what it’s like to be the oldest in a family since I’m the youngest. But I do know how it is like to have people speak over you or for you. As far as my own girls, I can see how it is for my oldest daughter; even the older two. They are expected to be a great example to their younger sister since she looks up to them.

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  13. I have a crazy family tree, different shared fathers and mothers. I have a brother who’s 29 and one whose 5 from my mother and a sister who’s ten from my birth father. I never met any until I was 18 so, i started sibling late in life πŸ™‚

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  14. You threatened to leave home if your mum had another boy – that is too funny. 😁 Having one little sister is enough for me. I think I’d be going loopy if I had two younger brothers as well. πŸ˜„ Yes, that pride that comes with being the oldest is such a great feeling! πŸ˜ŠπŸ’•

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  15. I adore this – I actually threatened to leave home if my Mum had another boy, after two younger brothers. I love seeing my sister’s successes and even though being the eldest was a pill – it’s 100% worth it to look at her and say “Yeah, I helped with this awesome.”
    Excellent post!

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  16. I guess I’m used to it. πŸ˜‚Me and my brother and sister have one big bed with material dividers, but that doesn’t stop them rolling into my bed every few minutes during the night. It’s infuriating, as you can imagine.

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  17. Oh my goodness, you must have a higher tolerance than me. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ My sister and I share a room and I feel like I can barely breathe. I can’t imagine how I’d be sharing a van together! πŸ˜„πŸ™ˆ

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  18. Not too bad. We live in a van actually – we’ve always been in small spaces πŸ˜‰ so it can sometimes be hard work. I relate to everything you’ve talked about in your post so much. πŸ™‚

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  19. “The problem of being the strong one…no one offers you a hand”
    This line hits deep. And not just in an older sibling way. You have to stand up for other AND yourself whenever things go wrong.
    Ughh i hope someday they understand that we too need a helping hand once in a while.

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