When Life Slaps Me In The Face

When life slaps me in the face,
I have the courage to stand up and take it;
I take a couple more, and then some.

After all, I have crashed and burned before,
so what’s a few more slaps?
I take them – and I get back up.

I don’t know how, but I do.

It’s a living hell, when everything comes crashing down again.
My goals and aspirations become a blur, too far to reach.

I think I’m back on track, before I’m slapped in the face once again,
along with a plan I didn’t ask for.

I’m writing this through misty eyes,
too fed up to wipe my tears and see clearly.
I’m not even sure I want to see clearly anymore.

It’s been hard enough;
I’m afraid to see what’s around the corner. 
When plans go wrong, and I’m knocked back,
needless to say, I don’t take it very well.

But hang on;

“This, too, shall pass.”

Oh, how those words are etched in my mind;
A clichéd mantra.

While these things usually do pass,
there’s often another sister storm on the way…

But


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“Depression is like a storm.
It starts slow,
Eating away at you slowly,
Then it becomes stronger,
And causes more damage.
Then it stops,
and you think you’re fine,
That it’s getting better.

Like it’s safe to go outside now,
And enjoy the finer things in life
Kind of like the eye of the storm.
Then out of nowhere,
It hits you again,
Knocking you down,
Harder than before,
Until you’re no more.
It swallows you,
Clogs your vision.
So then you can’t see,
How close to ending it is.
And some don’t make it,
Thinking that the only way
To stop the storm,
Is to stop themselves.”

 

While everyone gets on with their day, plodding along,
I’m here, crumbling to bits in the corner, battling my own war.

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I’m a warrior and no-one knows it.

I feel like superwoman, hiding a secret superpower.

I’m getting better at telling myself “hey, you’ve got this, superwoman.
You’ve got a beautiful heart and a wonderful brain,
and you’re needed in this world.”

I could do better; I can be a little kinder, more forgiving, more accepting of myself; But I have been ten times better at being a support to myself than anyone else has been. I always have been the only one to rely on when life slaps me in the face.

 

“Sometimes you need to walk alone,
just to show that you can.”

 

22 Comments

  1. Struggling women have always been beautiful in my sight. My maternal grandmother was the widowed mother of nine, five of whom she had to raise alone. My mother was a nocturnal widow for eight of my first ten years, until Dad made it off the night shift. My wife had an IQ of 162, earned three Master’s Degrees and was the best companion I’ve ever known, all while grappling with a rare neurological disease, which took her way too soon.
    You are worth all the good in the world. May your struggles recede and dissipate.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve got a beautiful heart and a wonderful brain, and you’re needed in this world.”
    That’s exactly you are, a Superwoman. And no matter how harsh it becomes, you’ll fight it back. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

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