For the first time ever, I had a panic attack in public.
For the first time ever, I locked myself in a public bathroom.
It was scary.
But I was more ashamed than anything.
My worst nightmare came true…
Making a spectacle of myself in public.
Of course my mind was going to dwell and fixate on it afterwards.
I couldn’t care less about my health,
But rather, how I was perceived by other people.
I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.
I am now in bed, the next day, and I have never felt so exhausted.
My head fuzzy.
I sat in silence for a good hour.
The words finally managed to wade through the tangled mess of thoughts.
I. Fucking. Got. Through. It.
No matter how it felt at the time,
No matter the aftermath and the effects I’m feeling right now,
Fresh thoughts suddenly come through.
I am a survivor.
I am strong.
I have nothing to worry about,
As I can get through anything.
Though, it’s one thing knowing that you’re strong,
And another to feel like a hero.
I guess exhaustion is overriding all my emotions.
I’m going to listen to my body.
My body needs rest.
My mind needs rest…
And I’m giving myself permission to have it.
Reminder: If you’re feeling tired, learn to rest. Sometimes the most productive thing to do is nothing.